Under the Weather

Feeling a little "under the weather" the last few days. I even missed a day of work yesterday. Probably nothing more than a nasty cold, but sill not feeling well today. I wonder where the term "feeling under the weather" comes from? Have you ever thought about random phrases that we use and ever wondered where they come from?

I spent some time a while ago looking for the origins of "got a bead on it." Never did figure out where that one came from. I got an email once that had the origins of the phrases "bottoms up" and "mind your ps and qs." Interestingly, they both have to do with drinking! Kind of funny how we don't think about stuff like that and just say them. Even when I was in London there were some phrases that we used and they used that didn't translate, or were used here. Like "spot on." Such a British phrase! It would be the equivalent to our phrase "right on."

Weigh-in number two tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. I have not worked out as much this week as last (see first paragraph....). But I also haven't eaten as many points worth of food (again, see first paragraph....). So, we'll have to see how it goes.

Also had our first night back of mid-week church last night after a break of over a month. Such fun to get to know my new group of small group gals. Some testimonies of the gals in my group are just amazing. What I am also excited about is that our group will also be doing some work with the high school team. We will not be leading any high schoolers, in a small group sense, but will be helping to build relationships, and attending functions at the high school and just generally assisting with things. Something I am looking forward to. It is interesting because all four of us who went to London are now in one capacity or another working with the high school group at Newsong. None of the four of us worked with the group before, but now we are.

Anyway, off for the day! Have a wonderful weekend.
Erin

Only 36 more to go.....

So, had my first weigh-in at Weight Watchers on Sat. I lost four pounds! Only 14 more to my first goal and 36 more to my final goal. It is funny, though, that while I have lost weight, and continue to do so, I went to church on Sunday and felt bigger than ever. How is that? I think in some ways it has been easy to "forget" how chubby I really am, and then when presented with the facts of it, my eyes have been opened. Kind of strange.

It is getting easier, though, to eat the WW way. I don't have to think so much about it as I did the first week, and some things are starting to become habit. As Martha Stewart would say: that's a good thing.

I am also struggling a little with breakthrough this week on my fear of failure. As I am moving into things that are not as easy for me, I am realizing just how utterly and completely terrified of messing up, failing, not being good at, not being liked, etc. etc. I am. Of course, for you regular readers, you'll know that this is not a new revelation for me. I think as I am pressed into new things, it just continues to come up again and again. I need to just continue to see this as a way to be more victorious over this issue in my life rather than being disappointed that I still struggle with this.

I have such an "all or nothing" mentality about my life. I tend to see things either as a success or a failure. I am either succeeding or failing. And, of course, I see failing as a reflection on who I am.

Just some thoughts and reflections over this past weekend.

Profound thought, not

What I am about to say, for most people, will probably not come as a surprise. But, for me, it is a new concept: losing weight takes work. And, I don't just mean working out, though that is important too. What I have realized in this last week is that I have been looking for the last few years for an easy way to lose weight. There is no such thing. It takes dedication, hard work, and perseverance.

One, to write down EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth so that I can truly see just how much I have been eating.

Two, to recognize that just because I can eat something in one meal does not make that amount a correct portion size.

Three, planning ahead for all meals and snacks makes sticking with things so much easier. "Unintentional" eating happens when I don't plan ahead.

Four, saying no to a piece of cheesecake when it is right in front of you can take a lot of willpower. It helps to remember that cheesecake takes up half my daily points in one sitting and I'll be hungry again in two hours.

Five, I really don't like vegetables that much. I am going to have to learn to like them. They fill me up, are good for me, and help me not to eat so much crap.

That's the profound lessons of this week. I am doing well, and am sticking with the program. I am so thankful to have told so many people about it, though, as it makes the stakes so much higher. I am hoping for a couple of pounds lost at tomorrow's weigh in.
Erin

WW here I come

Had my first Weight Watchers meeting this weekend. I am going to do a plan called flex points. Basically, based on weight you are given a certain number of points each day. Every food you eat has is worth a certain amount of points and your goal is to stay within the points each day. As you lose weight, your total points are adjusted downward. Some foods are worth zero points, and you can eat as much of them as you wish (mostly vegetables). So, for the last three days, I have been munching on more vegetables than I ever thought I would. I feel pretty good. Not too hungry, but hungry enough that I need to eat every few hours. I am just being forced to plan ahead a lot more and think "do I really want to waste X points on THAT?" But, if I did want to waste points on something, I could.

What I like about this plan is that nothing is off limits. You just have to stay within your points limit. They also give you 35 "bonus" points each week. This can be used a couple of ways. On days when you are extra hungry, you can dip into these points if you've already gotten to your points limit. OR, if something special is coming up (a holiday, birthday etc.) you can use the points to splurge on something you wouldn't normally be able to have (piece of cake, cookies, etc). So far, I have been dipping into those points for daily extras like a snack at night. It has been my life saver. If I didn't have those extra points, I would surely not be able to stay on this. I'd be hungry all the time. Or, I'd be starving at night when I'd used up my points. Anyway. Only 39 more pounds to go :0()
Erin

School has Started

Well, School has officially started around here today. I live about a mile from Foss High School in Tacoma and leave for work around the same time school is starting. I was a bit confused at all the traffic at first, and then I remembered....school starts today. Anyway, off to another year.

I also went to TOP foods last night and got a bunch of stuff to try to eat healthier. For example, no more McDonalds for breakfast. I never did this super often anyway, but now, I have to eliminate it. There are two of them on my way to work and on mornings I have been running late, I have been known to swing through the drivethrough to grab an Egg McMuffin. So, I have a plan. It is always best to have a plan. The place Weight Watchers meets at around here is actually just past the grocery store. So, if I go to my meeting on Saturday mornings, I'll stop by TOP foods on my way home. That way I always have time for grocery shopping. My typical excuse for not eating well is always that I don't have time to properly grocery shop. So, if I drag myself out of bed for the meeting, I can just shop when it's over. Anyway, that is the plan.

I LOVE TOP Foods. Anyone else agree? Their produce section ROCKS! Is that even a word anymore? It's filthy good. There, that is my attempt at being hip. They also have four other things I like a lot: Cascade Fresh Yogurt, Powdered Sugar Free Coffee Creamer, Nile Spice Soup, and individually packed meat, for us single peeps. Anyway, more expensive than Fred Meyers, but better. I think I am switching to them.
Have a great day!
Erin

Just Do It

Ok, I am going to just say it to the world (or, as the case may be, the three people who actually read this thing besides me): I want to lose 40 pounds. There! It is out in the open for the whole world to know. Not a secret, but something I need help doing. So, I figure, if I put it out there, I have more incentive to actually DO something about that statement.

Here's the plan. I am going to Weight Watchers. Seems to be the best plan out there, pretty cheap, AND I am still cooking my own meals. Pretty important to me because a lot of diets make you buy their own food. And, in my opinion, that can't be good. How do you learn to cook and eat right after you get off the plans if you have to buy their food? I need to learn to eat healthy within the realms of my local grocery store! I am praying for a WW buddy....someone to commit to coming with me to meetings.

I am also praying for a workout buddy. Not neccesarily the same person as my WW buddy....but someone to go to the YMCA with me three days a week.

Anyway, there it is!
Erin

I Am the One

Had a great night last night at NewSong. Brian and Christy were back from their vacation to Florida and Brian was in prime form; talking about how in love with us Jesus is. Specifically talking about how John the disciple had a revelation of the love Jesus had for him. Enough that he referrs to himself as "the one that Jesus loved" throughout the gospel of John. Not that Jesus actually DID love him more than others; John just GOT it in a way that the others didn't.

We are loved the same way. What a mind-blowing concept. This also is the very heart of what I have been learning over the last few years....really the crux of what the Lord has been teaching me.

The One
by Me
All Rights reserved

CHORUS:
I am the one You love
I am the one You adore
It is for me alone you sacrificed
I am the one you bled and broke for.
And were the whole world empty
If there were no one else but me
You would still have gladly gone
To die upon that tree.

In my wanderings I have left you
Strayed far away from home.
I have squandered many chances
And run wild on my own.
I have wasted what you've given me
And reaped what I haven't sown.
And still.....CHORUS

In my hatred I have decided
That there is nothing good in what I see.
I have blamed you for withholding all the things
That I thought my life should be.
It seems there's nothing I haven't done
To numb this pain inside of me.
And still....CHORUS

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Breakthrough

I was thinking this morning on my way into work (seems to be a theme with me.....I tend to have nice chats with the Lord on my way into work) just how much breakthrough you can have when things are going well. I realized that I tend to believe that breakthrough only comes through trial and heartache.

Here's my example: I am heading into new territory in my relationships...both with friends and with men. And, as I am having great gains, I am realizing just how fearful I am, and just how many lies about myself I have been believing. I have realized as I am pushing forward into life-giving relationships, that I am having victory in more ways than I realized.

I think in the past I would have thought breakthrough would come after areas of sin start affecting me in negative ways. I have thought that my own repentance comes after negative consequences to my sin. That is, that I am only capable of repentance after my sin starts to visibly hurt me. However, the Lord in His grace and mercy is allowing me to press forward into breakthrough NOT out of negative consequences, but rather He is showing me my sin through a time of great breakthrough and significance.

I am afraid, and I don't fully believe I am a woman worthy to be loved, BUT my eyes are opened to these lies not through a time of breaking, but a time of healing. How merciful and great our God is to allow me to learn these lessons in such a kind way.

More boat pics

The Crow's Nest