So, had my first weigh-in at Weight Watchers on Sat. I lost four pounds! Only 14 more to my first goal and 36 more to my final goal. It is funny, though, that while I have lost weight, and continue to do so, I went to church on Sunday and felt bigger than ever. How is that? I think in some ways it has been easy to "forget" how chubby I really am, and then when presented with the facts of it, my eyes have been opened. Kind of strange.
It is getting easier, though, to eat the WW way. I don't have to think so much about it as I did the first week, and some things are starting to become habit. As Martha Stewart would say: that's a good thing.
I am also struggling a little with breakthrough this week on my fear of failure. As I am moving into things that are not as easy for me, I am realizing just how utterly and completely terrified of messing up, failing, not being good at, not being liked, etc. etc. I am. Of course, for you regular readers, you'll know that this is not a new revelation for me. I think as I am pressed into new things, it just continues to come up again and again. I need to just continue to see this as a way to be more victorious over this issue in my life rather than being disappointed that I still struggle with this.
I have such an "all or nothing" mentality about my life. I tend to see things either as a success or a failure. I am either succeeding or failing. And, of course, I see failing as a reflection on who I am.
Just some thoughts and reflections over this past weekend.