I have been thinking over the last couple of days why I liked the move "Pride and Prejudice" so darn much. I have come to realize that I *pause for dramatic effect* desire to be romanced. Ding, ding, ding! I mean, I think all girls know this anyway, but I have been making connections between the movie and the book "Captivating." If you have not read the book, I highly recommend it. I mean that...stop what you're doing, go buy the book and THEN come back and read my blog. :-)
I see so clearly why for so many years I was addicted to romance novels.... and why so many women just LOVE chick flicks. We desire to be pursued and romanced. These books and movies capture the essence of that desire in a strong way. I am no different from any other woman in this way.
My life up until this point has contained very little in the way of a grand romance. Not that I am disillusioned to think that the way things are in books and movie is the way it is in "real life." Don't get me wrong, my expectations of what real life is like are not clouded by girlish nonsense any longer. But somewhere in there a gal just longs for someone to say to her "You have captured me, body and soul" the way Mr. Darcy tells that to Lizzie. Isn't that what we want, someone to be captivated by us?
I had a dream once, and the setting was of me on my wedding day standing in front of the altar with my groom and he can't stop talking to me. I am a bit puzzled and maybe slightly embarrassed that he wants to talk to me during the ceremony, but he says to me "I can't get enough of you. I can hardly wait to hear what you are going to say next." When I woke up and the Lord said to me "Erin, your husband will be fascinated by all that you have to say." What an encouragement!
I know that the Lord pursues me and is captivated by me in the way that I long for. The Bible also speaks to an earthly marriage as the closest thing to understanding what being the bride of Christ is about. I don't want to live discontent and disappointed that the Lord is my only husband right now, that is not my heart at all. I just also desire to have someone say to me..."I can't believe you are still available for me to pursue!" That he would see in me all of the things that the Lord already does. Maybe that is my selfish heart, but it is the desire of my heart. Since I am created in the image of God, I also know that it is His heart too.....that He longs for us to pursue Him and revel in who He is.
And so, I am identifying more and more with Christ in this struggle....to love and be loved. As much as I long to be loved by my future husband, the Lord longs to be loved by me in an even greater way. And, he longs to love me back in a way that my husband will never be able to. That is the revelation of today.