Oh, what a lesson this weekend on anger. To make a long story short, I felt forgotten about by a friend this weekend. And, it made me angry. On my way to meet with this friend, I was praying and asking the Lord: "why am I so angry." And I realized that when my feelings are hurt, I react in anger. It is a defense mechanism that I have. And, though the Bible clearly states that "In my anger, do not sin" it doesn't say that anger itself is not sin. In fact, it is a secondary emotion...it arises from something else. Feelings being hurt, feeling mis-understood, having an injustice done to you, etc. And so, I was realizing that while the anger itself is not necessarily sin,....it is always a clear indication that there is something else emotionally going on. And, it almost always causes me to sin. This weekend, my anger was clearly a result of hurt feelings, and led me to think things I shouldn't about my friend. Not the Lord's heart for me. Plus, the whole thing was a mis-communication plain and simple. And, when I saw him, I felt even worse for all the ways I had cursed him in my mind. Lord, forgive me for the ways I have allowed anger to lead me into sin.
Had a great time on Friday night with James and Thomas from London. They brought a video from a lot of the kids we met while there this summer and it just made me yearn to go back. Just seeing James and Thomas themselves was enough to send me right back to London in my head. The group from the summer also sent along a card and I just melted. I am determined to go back there this February and see every one again. I sent a bunch of cards back with James and Thomas to the group back in London, and I wrote for all to see that I was planning a trip in February. I think writing it down makes me want to work even more hard to make it happen.
I just love James and Thomas. They are both such men after the Lord's heart. So teachable, so humble, and just amazing. I could write volumes about how much I adore them both. Maybe I can get a picture up of us. I am headed out to dinner with them again tonight.