Wednesday, July 27, 2005

A better choice

Things have been improving, spiritually, since Tues. of last week. Please pray, though, that as I start to "feel" better, I would not let up in my pursuit of this stronghold. I think that has been part of the pattern in the past is that as I start feeling better, the urgency and desperation lifts, and I quit chasing after the change that I need. I don't want that to happen this time. So, my prayer would be that I would see this through to the end, and not give up until it is a complete work.
I know that feeling down happens sometimes, I am not silly enough to think that victory means that I won't ever be unhappy again. But, I would like healing in my heart to be more than just a "functional" believer!!
Also, if you could pray against distractions, that would be a great thing to include too. That I would not allow other things (boys, ministry, my house, my job, etc.) to get my eyes off of the goal (to have a complete breakthrough). Again, that is part of the pattern....I allow the excitement of something new (a crush, a new ministry, a project at the house, kudos at work) to be my false comfort. I need Jesus completely and only for my significance.
I am really liking the book "Captivating" I am actually reading it at the same time as "the search for significance" Have you ever read S.F.S.? Captivating is speaking to how I was created, but SFS is really ministering to why I have not been able to receive that I have been created in a specific way (i.e. I am having freedom in SFS about why I have felt insignificant, and captivating is replacing those lies with the truth of how significant I was created to be). It has been an interesting experience, to say the least. I am recognising how much I have based my worth on what I do, as opposed to who I am, and filling my heart with the TRUTH of who I am. Quite a ride. I highly recommend SFS for any of your gals struggling with self-hatred/insignificance/insecurity/performanced based love etc. It is filled with freedom stuff.
Interestingly enough, I actually read SFS in college, but was not prepared, really, for what to do. Now, reading it and coupling it with prayer etc., there is much more victory.
I am also being ministered to by a CD I am listening to over and over and over again. Have you heard of Shane and Shane (HIGHLY recommend them, if you haven't heard of them)? They have a newer CD out called "Clean" and there are two songs I am loving right now. Here are the lyrics to them:
Clean I call you
Clean I came to clean you
And it's done
Here's a call to all who've felt
Disqualified to run
Pleasures flowing here and there
From my right hand
hat's mine is yours
Come behold all of who I am
You and I will run
You and I will run, forever
All is done
You and I will run
Come with what you do not have
And buy what's undeserved
Feast and drink,
The bounty's great
I know you hear
But have you heard?
Have you heard?(repeat chorus)
I've called you clean
You are clean
You are clean
"I am dirty"
You are clean"
So unworthy"
You are clean
You are clean
"so dirty"
That's what I'm wanting

And then another one called "Yearn"
Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find
My God
Lord I want to yearn for you
I want to burn with passion
Over you, and only you
Lord I want to yearn for you
I want to burn with passion
Over you, and only you
Lord, I want to yearn
Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of him(repeat chorus)
Oh you give life and breath
In you we live and move
That's why I sing(repeat chorus)

No comments:

Post a Comment