Head's up Chicken Little: the sky is not falling.
Rather, it is falling in certain areas and not in others.
My life is not falling apart, though I may have given that impression by my last post. Though it is going horribly in the area of relationships, there are other areas that are going quite well.
With my job, though paying very little, I got a raise recently. I did also make it to an interview for a position I applied for there (even though I didn't get the job, and even though I am not sure if I'll even be there that much longer). I am also still having a very good time working there, and really enjoying what I do. There are very few days I get up and don't want to go to work. Money is still a very difficult area for me, but liking what you do is so important.
While I still have a torn rotator cuff, and my other health issue is still very much present, I have been working out with a trainer for a while now and have lost about six to eight pounds. Since I lost 50 lbs a few years ago, 6-8 lbs is not a lot, but what I have gained is a very real workout habit, a ton of physical strength, and my cardiovascular shape is some of the best it's been in the last few years. I really enjoy working out with the trainer....I think all my years of being coached just makes this click with me. There's something motivating for me about having someone stand there not only showing me what to do but pressing me into doing something better/faster/further/more than I thought I could do.
In areas of ministry, there are some bright spots. I have been spending a lot of time with some college students in town for the summer and I am realizing just how energizing this age group is for me and just how alive I feel when I am around them and pouring into them. Last night for example, I drove a group home from an event out on the Key Peninsula and got to talking about some discipleship issues. The drive went so fast. As one of the girls exited my car she said "you are a wise woman." I realized how much I love teaching and discipleship and love getting to talk about things I've learned with this age group. I wish I could work with this age all the time.
Additionally, Call2All has not given up on my working for them full time. They called me a week or so ago and want me to seriously consider moving to Kansas City (instead of Kona) for a year to work in their office. I was even offered help fund raising to do this. They also want me to help with events this upcoming year in: Malta, India, Switzerland and Indonesia. This has certainly given me pause to think and pray. Though I am still reluctant to do administration, I am not sure whether this is an open door to walk through or not. I am not psyched about KC (but being close to my brother and his family is exciting), I am not psyched about administration, but I am psyched about travel and some other things. Fund-raising scares the living daylights out of me (like I *need* more opportunities for rejection, right?), and honestly I am not in a financial spot to leave quite yet. I have had some unexpected expenses that have put a slow-down on my ability to pay off my credit card AND I have some car and house repairs that would have to happen for me to rent my house and drive my car halfway across the country. Sigh. I wish I knew what the plan for me in this area was.
It's good for me to write about a few of the things that are going well in my life right now. It's helpful for me not to focus so much on the things that are going wrong....because that of course is not the full picture, though it certainly feels pretty overwhelming at times.
Praying your life is full,