If I Only Did What I Was Good At....

I applied for a permanent position at the zoo.

This really isn't an earth shatteing announcement except for the fact that I am pretty sure if I got the job, I would not be able to simultaineously go to Law School.

However, I am heading into this process with eyes wide-open....if I got the job, it would mean a promotion *over* someone already in a permanent position at the zoo and someone who actually used to be my boss.  Realistically I am probably candidate 3 out of 3.  My chances are slim to none that I'll actually get this job.

It seems strange to have even applied for it for a couple of reasons, the Law School conflict being one and the fact that others who "make more sense" were applying too.  In fact, many in my department who were gung-ho to apply early on did not apply.  Perhaps because of who the competition is, or perhaps for other reasons.

I'll be honest, I almost did not apply.  The qualifications and responsibilities for this job are pretty steep.  I'd have a lot on my plate.  When I looked at the job application, I almost balked.  Then I did an honest assessment....I qualified for the position.  I met all the criteria.  The only reason *not* to apply would be because of who else was applying.  Poppycock.

I have literally nothing to lose by applying and going through this process (with the exception of possibly going to Law School).  I have everything to gain. I have already gained application and resume writing experience, on Tuesday I'll have gained interview experience, and you just never know...I might gain a job out of this too. 

Yes, if I got the job I'd have to pray about my future plans....but this just felt like an open door I was supposed to walk through.  There's a funny saying about God not being able to steer a parked car, or something like that and I really feel like this applies in this situation.  I'll cross the bridge of what to do about Law School IF I even cross the bridge of that being an option.

Meanwhile, I really feel that if I only attempted things I was guaranteed success at, I'd really never do much of anything.  There are so many lessons in this truth, and it even applies to my future with Law School too....

If I only do that which I am good at, already excel at, am guaranteed a good return on etc....I am stuck doing what I've always done.  Things that are a great reward always require great risk. The greater the reward the greater the risk.

Do I look like a fool for applying for a job that others more qualified than I have applied for?  Maybe.  But, then again, maybe not.  Bravery is not the absence of fear, it's being afraid and doing something in spite of the fear.  My prayer is that I would be brave enough to look like a fool, stuble and fall, but be willing to walk through an open door when it's right in front of me, even if it doesn't make sense.

Blessings,

Erin