I have been thinking and praying more about this whole birthday thing from my earlier post. I am pretty sure the whole reason I don't want to celebrate my birthday this year is because there is a part of me who feels like if I pretend it's not happening, then I'm not really a year older. In addition, I am also pretty certain I don't want to get my hopes up for some shin-dig and get disappointed. The last few years my birthday party has been very anti-climatic. I just don't want to repeat of the last few years. I know this isn't a good attitude to have because I am coming to the conclusion that we all need to be recognized by those closest to us.
For example, my bio and picture are NOT going up on any ministry web-site. I am actually *very* happy with this. In the past, I have really wanted to be acknowledged for what I do. My attitude about this has changed a lot in the last few years. It is not that I don't want to be loved and cherished....but that needs to come from individuals, those closest to me and the Lord, not from people I either barely know or don't know at all. I think about verses that talk about people who walk around showing off their accomplishments and how THAT is their reward (Matthew 6:2 "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."). As humans we are created to be encouraged and loved,....to not do so is to be withheld from. But, we were not created to be worshiped. Any time I crave recognition, I am craving worship. So, on a public basis not to care if I am known for what I do is a good thing. On a private basis, we all need to be acknowledged and encouraged. Which is why my apathy, bordering on hopelessness, regarding my birthday is probably not a good thing. We all need to be celebrated.
On a slightly different note, I am now not going to be in Istanbul alone for a couple of days. A friend who works for an airline is shifting around her schedule to meet me in Istanbul for a couple of days before heading off to a couple of other countries. This is a *huge* answer to prayer. Additionally, I am now only $85 short of my total amount needed for my half of the plane ticket.