Saturday, February 03, 2007

All but the details

It's all done but for the of the end of this month, I will officially no longer be director of a school, but will be working in the office of our church. Details about how that will all work out are still being figured out, but it is basically happening. I will be working Tues-Fri in the office and making sure stuff runs at church on Sat. as well. I am not sure the exact tasks I will be doing, but there it is!

I have moved on a bit from the sadness earlier this week and I am now MUCH more excited about what this will entail and what it will look like. Suffice to say, I am stoked!!

Korea is also still being figured out too. WE have been having struggles with trying to figure out the details of it all and at times I have wondered if we are even going to be going. No tickets have been bought, we have no exact dates, we have no idea what we will be, it just feels either a. really opposed or b. like we are maybe not supposed to go and are working at odds against the Lord. I am sure a little bit of "a" is in there regardless, but I am starting to wonder if this trip is even going to happen, it just feels so laborious to get the details hammered out. We'll see.

Our women's health conference is happening too. It will be the weekend of Feb. 16-18. I am giving my testimony one evening and teaching a breakout session on another evening. I am not as scared as I was, and feel overall a sense of this being something I HAVE to do. It has been fun to be on the planning team too.

I think the overall theme of the last few weeks has been: I cannot believe how much fear and insignificance are still in my "game." I have been so fearful about all of these changes, and the thing that keeps running through my head is: "Me?" Not that I shouldn't have a healthy fear in there or have a dose of humility, but it has not been false humility, it has been a very real sense of "I am not certain why I get to be the one to do these things." And the fear has been just flat out a lack of trusting the Lord. It is good to have these things surface, I cannot move forward into what I am to do with them still there. Gotta get em out!

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