Sunday, August 20, 2006

Livin' la Vida Loca

My life is crazy. Crazy I tell ya. In the span of a little over a week, things are changing dramatically.

First of all, regarding quitting my job: I am still VERY much at peace with the decision, and continue to be more and more excited at what might be in store for me. People at work are finding out and I am so encouraged by the things that they are telling me: "If I was (your age, didn't have kids, wasn't married, etc.) I would do the same thing." "You only have one life, you should live it to the fullest." "Don't get stuck doing a job you don't like, otherwise you might never leave." Stuff like that. Granted, most of the comments are just about the quitting aspect, and not necessarily about what I am quitting for. But, it is just encouragement to hear people bless me while leaving. I am just so excited for what I'll be doing. Any fear I have is quickly disappearing. I sometimes think that the Lord had me quit without knowing whether I had a job to quit for just as a measure to grow my faith. In the face of my fear, would I quit and trust and rely on Him to come through for me? Would I trust Him to provide for me? To give me immeasureably more than I can imagine? A test of faith, if you will.

For some people, quitting a job for "nothing" might not be that scary. And, compared to some things some of my friends have done, it didn't seem nearly as crazy of a decision. But, as one friend pointed out....she sold her condo and moved because she had something to move FOR. And, another friend pointed out that yes, she moved across country too, but all she had to worry about was a car payment. I have a mortgage and women living with me who depend on me for the very roof over their heads. When put that way, I realized that quitting with no "safety net" really IS a big deal. Yet, I am completely confident that I made the right decision. I had a moment of panic earlier last week when my boss said something about working a few weeks longer and having an extra paycheck and benefits for the month of Sept. But, I have to believe that the timing on this was and is key.

So, here is where it gets even crazier. I was talking to a friend of mine last Sunday and chatting about crazy decisions and she tells me that another mutual friend is moving to LONDON for three months. I about died! So after getting off the phone, I called this friend. She tells me what she will be doing in London for those three months and then says: "I don't think I will be able to go, but I think YOU would be perfect. Can I pass your information on if I decide not to go?" And, of course, me, loving London the way I do (oh, just wait, it gets better), say YES!

So, Friday night comes, and we are at dinner for a birthday for Chatel's husband Garrett and I end up chatting with this friend. She says: "I decided not to go, and I have given them your information." !!!!!!!!!

What I would be doing, and this is still a big question mark because I have not heard from anyone yet, is living with a family from ChristChurch Fulham (the church I went and helped the youth with last August, and have had several members stay with me) and nanny for them three days a week. This couple is the new assistant pastor and his wife and their two boys. She is going back to work part time and they need help with the boys. I would also on the other days help raise up some new prayer teams, teach freedom and restoration with the church. So, for room, board, food, and a salary, I would be living in the city I love, working with the church I love for three months!

So, all of this happens, and then on Thursday I get an email....our preschool is ON! It is a go. We are moving forward, full steam ahead.

This leaves me in a bit of a quandry. Do I leave for London at the end of September or do I stay and work the preschool? I have not even officially been asked to nanny for this couple, and my flesh says "GO." But, I also want to be a woman of my word and if those involved with the preschool believe I should stay, then I have to believe that this is the right thing to do as well....that I will be blessed by sacraficing my dream. Maybe it will only be a temporary sacrifice, but there is no way for me to know that at this point. Or, maybe they will release me from my committment and I'll get to go. There is no way to know quite yet what will happen.

And so, the crazy life continues. I am proceeding with the preschool as though the London thing is not happening, because that is the right thing to do, yet, it is at the back of my mind and I feel like I check my email hourly waiting to see if I have one from this assistant pastor.

Please be praying that I would do the right thing, no matter how hard that might be for me to do. Saying no to London would be even harder than quitting my job, but if there is one thing I have learned this last week: The Lord honors our faith.

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