Sunday, August 13, 2006

D-Day

Well! The day has come! I gave my two-week's notice at work on Friday, and lo and behold, the world has not ended. It was easier than I thought and harder than I thought all at the same time. The actual handing in of my letter of resignation and speaking to my boss was pretty easy, over-all (more on this later). However, thinking about leaving the people and the comfortable-ness of a job I have been doing, and doing well, for the last six years was harder than I thought. At the same time, I am at peace that this is the correct decision and had some confirmation on that on Saturday as I drove past a school I have done some work with. As I drove past it, I thought about what if I was scheduled to go do a classroom visit there on Monday, would I be excited about it or do I feel something else. And, quite frankly, I was not excited at the thought of going there at all. It just felt like confirmation....the very thing I that has taken up 80-90 percent of my job (doing classroom visits) just wasn't appealing to me any longer. Why would I want to stay at a job that I am bored with just for the sake of having a cushy, comfortable job? The only reason I would stay would be out of fear. And, I am not a woman of fear, that is not who I am. The spirit of fear does not mark me and is not how I live my life.

One of the gals I work with said to me that when we are afraid, sometimes we do things and THEN the fear leaves. Walking in the opposite spirit is how I would phrase that in "church" terms. That is exactly what this feels like. I am walking out of fear and into faith.

Trusting the Lord in this time will be an even more active thing because I still don't know for sure that the preschool is happening. Yes, you read that right. We have not heard back from the location we want to have the school if we will even be able to use their building or not. They know we want to use it, and are just waiting. I have enough money in savings to go a while without any income, and I am applying for some part time jobs because even if the preschool happens, I will need some additional income. I am honestly not worried at all. My finances are better right now than they ever have been. In actuality, I could probably not have much of in income for many months and still be OK. I would just cancel some bills that are things I could live without (newspaper subscription, etc.).

Anyway, I will be posting more as I know what is happening. All's well here, though.
Erin

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