Monday, February 27, 2006

Extreme Makeover: Erin Edition

Just a quick mini-update on life right now. The title of this post is really telling, I really and truly do feel like I am going through an "Extreme Makeover." The show with the same name focuses on the physical transformation that the people who participate go through, but I am really feeling like mine is a whole-person thing.

Physically: I hit the 30 lb. weight loss this week at Weight Watchers. The first 20 lbs. really flew off of me, but the last 10 have been a lot slower in coming off. I am not doing anything differently, but I think my body has gotten used to eating this way. While I am still losing, it is happening a lot more slowly these days. I think it took me three months to lose the first 20, and it has taken me three months to lose these last ten. I am now officially 15 pounds from my ultimate goal, and that is fun to see. My eyes are also really hitting their stride after the surgery. The night halos around lights has significantly improved, I hardly need to use eye drops at all, and I can hardly tell in any way that I ever even had surgery. Other than being able to see all the time, of course. I had my one week follow-up with the surgery on Thursday morning, and I am healing just fine. I can even start to wear makeup again on Friday.

Ministry: I went to our "Teen Late Night" on Friday night at a community center here in Tacoma. There are probably close to 100 kids that come to this on Fridays from 8-midnight. These kids are really the outcasts of society. I mean, the forgotten youth. It was really eye-opening for me to see. It is fantastic that they have a place to go on a Friday where there is some structure to get them off of the streets, but they really just need to be loved. I would like to commit to coming twice a month to the program to help out. The choir sang at church on Sunday night as well, and that was fun. Nothing causes me to manifest frustration, perfectionism, etc. like choir does. It stretches me and humbles me. It's great. My small group is having an overnighter this coming Friday into Saturday at my house where we are going to just have a night full of ministry with each other. There will be a movie, some popcorn and some other fun stuff too, but there will also be breakthrough. It will be fantastic. I am just in love with these girls in my group. I try to meet with at least one of them each week for coffee, and talk to one of them on the phone each week as well. This week I am having coffee on Wed. morning with one of them, and then going over to another's house to be the mediator in a roommate squable that night.

Spritually: I am having a lot of revelation related to my last post regarding recognizing how much I need Jesus to take over my life. It has been a humbling and in some ways a breaking experience. The more my eyes are opened to how little I rely on Jesus for my daily life, the more I see how pervasive my pride, control, and fear is in my life. I am recognizing how much I think I can do things on my own, especially in areas that are nemesis issues. Of coures I am still struggling with them.....because I am trying to figure them out and change them on my own instead of letting the One Who Restores come and restore me. I am just praying more and more that I would see the depth of how much I need Him. I don't know that I have prayed this ferverently for something before. I am starting to understand in a deeper way the scriptures regarding "dying to yourself." I must kill the part of me that wants to be in charge, let God be in charge, and then everything else falls into place. Some areas where I can see the Lord already begining to come in and replace old patterns is in the area of friendships. You may remember a few posts ago I was lamenting about my lack of friendships. While there is still work to be done, overall, things are improving. I have had some serious breakthrough in so many of my friendships, and the Lord is starting to open my eyes to how He can provide the fullness of those friendships. As I trust Jesus more, I am also able to trust people more. I feel a lot like a dog who has been kicked into a corner with its tail between its legs who has been taken into a loving home and starting to trust, love and be loyal again like a dog is supposed to. Not that I am a dog, but it's just a good visual picture. There are a few women that have come into my life recently that I can see potential for deeper friendship, and the Lord has also started restoring some friendships that have been broken.

Anyway, just a small update. Hope your week is blessed.

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