Friday, October 30, 2009
One Thing I was Created to Do
Littered all throughout the Bible, nay, THE whole Bible is a testimony that God does not do things "randomly." There is nothing about His ways that speak to someone who just lets things happen, or sort of throws stuff out there not knowing what will happen. God is a God who is thoughtful, strategic and purposeful in ALL He does. Even the life, death and resurrection of Jesus were a part of God's plan, but that is for another post.
Yet for most of my life I thought God saw me as a failure; never quite measuring up. I was convinced that He'd made some huge mistake with me. A number of years ago, my theology on this was challenged and I had to admit that God had SPECIFICALLY designed me, thought of me, knew me before I was born and had plans and purposes for me. There are lots of verses about this. Jeremiah and Psalm 139 both talk about this concept. We call this our "original design." Sometimes life, my flesh, the enemy, and injustices conspire to prevent me from walking fully in who I was created to be and what I was created to do.
I had an opportunity this week to walk in something I was created to do that I had kind of forgotten about. You know, the gifts and talents and the specific things that were instilled in us still take some exercising...and I got to exercise a muscle this week that I had not done in quite some time. It felt SO. GOOD.
A number of years ago, we put on a women's conference called "Am I Beautiful?" I got to speak at this conference. We have done this same conference a couple of other times, but I have never been asked to be a part of it after the first time. This last month, we have been doing a version of this conference at the University of Puget Sound for a couple of hours each Wednesday night. This time, I was asked to speak again. So, the last night of the conference, this past Wednesday, I got to speak. This conference has been pretty impactful on these women: setting them free from the bondage of this world's standards of beauty ad into a pursuit of TRUE beauty.
The leader of the conference had heard me speak before at the original conference, but none of the other gals on the team had been at the original conference. Actually, truth be known, none of them had ever heard me speak before in any capacity. To say that they were skeptical might be a little harsh, but I am certain there were some doubts.
As I was waiting for worship to end on Wednesday, I was not nervous at all. I heard a still small voice say "This is what you were created for." And I had a peace that surpasses all understanding. I rose, took my place at the podium and spoke. It felt so good.
At the end of the evening, I had this moment where I just felt like there was a part of my spirit that was saying, "Oh, yeah! Remember how you LOVE this? Remember how this is so FUN?! Remember??!!" It was like I had rediscovered a part of me that I had forgotten about. I had rediscovered a muscle that had not been used in a long time. And it felt good!
The most fun part of all of it was opening some eyes, including mine again. "I had no idea!" "You are such a TEACHER."
I AM created to be a teacher! I can't wait until I can do this full time!