Let's Run the Race Together

I have some good news to report on the financial front.  Things are still tight, but I have managed to have a few blessings along the way! 

I called the alarm company to come out and fix my alarm.  It took a total of 15 minutes.  Rather than charge me the $130+, the service guy was gracious and only charged me for half that amount.  Whew! 

I have managed to get rid of the ants (so far) by using Raid on the inside of the house where they were coming in.  I also managed to figure out where they were entering the house from the outside and sprayed there too.  Voila, no ants!

My car is also fixed. I took it to Auto Zone where they diagnosed it for FREE.  They also sold me the parts I needed to fix it. Then, I gave the parts to a guy from church who repaired it for a mere fraction of the cost it would have been anywhere else. 

I was able to order a knob for my dryer off the Internet for about $10 and repaired it myself.

And, finally, I am borrowing a vacuum cleaner from a friend until I can repair my old one or buy a new one. 

So, this leaves my cat litter box, ceiling fan and medical bill left to take care of.  I purchased a cheap, covered litter box that will do for now, and with summer over, the ceiling fan can wait.  The medical bill is another story all-together, but I am working with the hospital to figure a payment plan out.

In other news, my current foray into online dating is coming to an end.  I have always had a hard time with online dating for many reasons and I think I have partially figured out why this is.  It has felt like this has been my only option to meet people, however, and I am pretty sure this won't be my last venture into the online dating world.  Right now I can't afford it, so my current season of this is coming to an end.

My success, or lack-there-of, is only partially why I am frustrated with online dating.  My most recent dip into the online dating pool didn't produce the "sharks" that I have talked about before.  But, the passivity I encountered with the men on there has just astounded me.  I have talked about this before, but sometimes I wonder whether men in the online dating world really want to find someone at all.

This time around, I was encouraged, initially, by the quality of men on paper that I was "meeting." Several of them were very promising and things got off to an amazing start.  I had no less than three dates lined up within a two-week span.  How many of them did I go on?  Exactly zero.

This is not from any kind of hesitation or lack of trying on my part.  Two of the three, when it came down to actually nailing down a day/time to meet, just kind of fell off the planet not to be heard from again.  One of the three at least continued to communicate with me, but kept coming up with one excuse after another: my car broke down, I have a friend in town from Germany for the week, etc.  Can you see what I mean?

So, as this latest venture winds to a close I was challenged recently by a couple of friends to actually write down what I am praying for in a husband.  I am not going to get into the full details of my list, but I realized, as I was writing it, just how important someone who is an initiator is to me.  I used to think *I* was the one who was passive...wanting so desperately to be pursued, or that I was fearful of stepping out and being vulnerable/putting myself out there. 

I am realizing, however, that really this is a deep heart-cry of mine.  Maybe it is rooted in fear or passivity on my part a little, because what of anything is ever 100% pure?  But, I think it's OK for me to say that I want someone who is a leader and an initiator.  I am those things, but I don't want to be the leader nor initiator in my relationship.  So, I think that is partially what bothers me about online dating....in a lot of ways I feel like it is too easy for the men on there to be passive, as evidenced by my latest round of online dating.  It feels like I am doing most of the work.

I know it only takes "one." I do have a few friends that have met their partners online and I know that it does happen, but I just sometimes really pray, deep deep down that I would just love to meet someone someday the "old fashioned way" and look at that person and realize that we are running the same race, in the same direction and that we'd be better running the race together than apart.  And, that he'd be the one to grab my hand and say "Let's run together."

Blessings,
Erin