Revelations about Tacoma

I live in Tacoma.  This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who's taken the time to read my blog's URL.  And, as many of you know, I have been desperate itching to get out of here for a number of years now.  I have been in an extended holding pattern to do this, though, which has left me wondering at times, if I'll ever get my chance to see the mission field like I so hope to do.  This feeling of being trapped here has been compounded by the fact that over the last few years, many (I can count eight families off the top of my head without even trying that hard) notable families and some singles in my church have left for the mission field.  I have felt, as I have bitter-sweetly seen each of them off, whether somehow I had missed out on my chance to go.

Fast forward to Wednesday night at my church's mid-week service.  Towards that end of the service, one of our staff members got up to the front and was talking about an encounter he'd had with a notable prophetic voice in the American church and some words this man had to say about Tacoma....having never stepped foot here before in his life.  Our staff member reminded us of several words spoken over Tacoma and encouraged us to remember all that the Lord has said about this city over the years.  He also urged us to continue to believe...that it is never too late for the Lord to do what He said He would do and asked us to repent of any unbelief we had over this city.

Suddenly, I was struck by this fact: I feel about the words spoken over Tacoma the same way I feel about the words spoken over my own life: distrusting and unsure that the Lord ever will really do what He has said He will do.  In that moment, I had a revelation of just how deep this goes with me.  I could tell you with all head knowledge "Of course the Lord can and will do what He says He will do" but the truth of the matter, that in my deepest heart, I don't fully believe it.  In the same way I don't believe the Lord will fulfill words in my life, I don't believe He'll do it for this city either.  I had a connect-the-dots moment at how pervasive this distrust really is.  I have felt that Tacoma, like me, is the overlooked and forgotten one and this has been reflected in my actions in so many ways.

My heart broke over just what this has done.  Though I am here, I have not invested nor had eyes to see this city the way that I would want people to invest and have eyes to see me.  I have treated this city the same way I have been treated: with contempt, pride, and disdain. 

Obviously Tacoma is not a person, but it is FULL of people.....and I have neglected the ones right in front of my face.  I have not miraculously been transformed into deciding to stay, but I will say this: I have renewed vigor for praying and commitment to the people of this city while I am still here.

Blessings,
Erin