Friday, February 11, 2011

Love

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching and as the date comes nearer and nearer, I have been meditating on the love of Christ.  He loves me.  He loves every part of me, after all, He made me!  He loves the awkward, geeky, and gawky sides of me as much as the gifted, "with it," and mature parts of me.

Often when it comes to romantic relationships, when I am interested and hopeful for something to develop with someone, I find myself becoming morbidly introspective: "Did I say the wrong thing?"  "Did I do the wrong thing?"  "What is the right thing to say or do?"  "What if he doesn't like this part of my personality?"  "I am too XYZ or too little ABC for him." 

Sometimes these thoughts can be good....we can learn about blind spots or things that need to be brought under control of the Holy Spirit when we take a good look at ourselves.  For me, though, I tend to spend an inordinate amount of time dissecting and worrying about how I am coming across or who I am. 

I have realized, though, that whomever I marry....the very things I am afraid of not being loved are the very things he will love about me.  My brain: he'll love that I am smart and have ideas and thoughts....I won't have to hide or downplay this part of me!  My passion: he'll love that I am not afraid to be stirred by things and to be emotional about the things that move me.  My determination: he'll love that I am not easily dissuaded and that I remain loyal and committed.  My communication style: he'll love that I am a teacher in all I say and love to share all I am learning.  You see, there are so many things about me that I have felt are, well, wrong...yet, those are the very things that make me, me! 

The great news is, the Lord feels that way about me right now.  He feels that way about you right now too.  What are those things that aren't wrong or sinful that make you the unique person you are that you have felt overlooked or discounted?  What are those things that you have felt misperceived in who you are or you felt like you've had to hide?  We are uniquely designed, and each of us functioning in our gifting is how we make everyone better.

I am learning to embrace and love the very things about me that I can't (and shouldn't) want to change, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  I am learning to see myself the way the Lord sees me.  And, that is a good thing.

I love my laugh lines, they mean I have laughed and smiled a lot.
I love my worry lines, they have been earned in concern for others.
I love my gray hairs, they represent wisdom I have gained through experience.
I love my stretch marks, they mean I am mature and no longer a child.
I love my callouses, they have come through hard work and labor.
I love that I forget things sometimes, there are a lot of good memories to fill up my brain.
I love my soft hug, it is a great place to snuggle with my nephews.
I love everything about me that the Lord calls good, it means that He made me that way for a reason and purpose.

Blessings,
Erin

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