But surely I know when I'll be back again!
So, tomorrow evening is the big day to head back over to Europe for a second time in a year. I am not nearly as nervous as I was the first time I flew over last August. I am perhaps MORE excited, but in a different kind of way. THIS time I am excited because I know what to expect in a lot of ways, and I am filled with absolute JOY to be able to experience those things again! It is a different kind of trip than the last time, in that I will be working with adults rather than kids, and I will be doing a LOT more praying and a LOT less outreach, but it will still be fun!
Church last night was great. Brian talked about renewing our passion, and for some, finding our passion. I was struck again by how much our church emphasizes being passionate about a specific group of people (ie the "homeless" the "single moms" the "high-schoolers" etc.). I would say for myself, as I have said before, I am not sure I feel called to a specific group of people. I feel called to teach and restore people, all people. Every time we talk about callings or passions I just feel this tug of condemnation, as though I am somehow missing out on mine, or being blocked from fully knowing my passion. It always causes me to question what I am doing and where I am going. That confusion is almost always exacerbated by the fact that inevitably someone will say something to me like "I see you working with the junior highers" or "Have you ever thought about working with our homeless outreach." See, the confusion steps in because OF COURSE I would love to work with those ministries, OF COURSE I would do a great job with them. But, when I find myself feeling the most on fire, is when I am teaching. Whether that be with my small group of gals, or at work, THAT is when I feel like "YES, this is what I was created for." And so, I just start to wonder, should I just pick a ministry and go for it? How many expectations do I have out of ministry that are just wrong? Do I believe that ministry is passionate and firey all the time and forget that a lot of ministry is just plain hard work? How much of that confusion is really my own rebellion and selfishness? I just don't know. Anyone out there have any thoughts?
However, in the midst of all of that confusion, I did get asked last night to teach three Sunday School lessons for an adult Sunday School class in Tacoma. The church we rent from meets on Sunday mornings, and their education director asked me if I would come for three Sunday mornings in May and teach their class. That was a scary and exciting thought all at the same time. There are a few topics that they are wanting someone to talk about: Christianity and the Environment. So, of course, I am the logical choice! Should be refining and fun! The church is pretty liberal in their views and beliefs, so it is not that much of a surprise that they have asked about this specific topic, but I am looking forward to the opportunity to connect with them and create bridges between their congregation and ours.
Not sure if I'll have time to post before I leave, or while I am gone, though I will have access to the internet. I'll post again for sure when I return.