Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Smart Cookie

I'm a pretty smart cookie.  I mean this with as much humility as I can muster.  I have two bachelor's degrees, one of which is a BS in biology.  I am an incessant learner and thinker.  One of the ways the Lord created me is with wisdom and "brilliance."  However, in the words of Voltaire: with great power comes great responsibility. Everything good about how we are created has a flip side.  Taken too far or twisted in the wrong way, our strengths can also be our biggest stumbling blocks. 

One of the ways this works with me is that because I am right about most things much of the time, I have a tendancy to think I am right about all things all of the time.  In other words, I can come across as condescending or patronizing or even an outright know-it-all.  My pride rears its ugly head because I love sharing all of my knowledge and wisdom with others.  This is one of the reasons I am a great teacher, but it can also be hurtful to other people.  Not just because I have corrected them, pointed out that they are wrong, or in the tone of my voice but also because there is a real part of my heart that just likes being right.

This week has turned out to be a series of me having to apologize and say I am sorry.  First at work when I was told I had been condescending to a little boy who reached for something I was holding without asking, then to a friend who was offended at a facebook status I posted after a conversation with her, and then to another friend who roots for a different baseball team than I do after a comment he made about the Mariners.  Sigh. 

And, I will tell you...nothing shows you just how much pride you have when you have to swallow it and admit you're wrong and apologize.  Thus, I march on, swallowing my pride and learning how to live in the fullness of being me but in all humility considering others better than myself (Phil 2:3).   This is a lesson I have needed to learn this week. 


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