Crazy Faith

So, in the last few weeks there have been some crazy new developments in my life.

First, I have been feeling for the last few months that my time at my current job might be coming to and end soon. I have been feeling discontent with my job. I thought for quite a while that this was just me...meaning that sometimes when feelings of discontentment come up, they can be entirely from within and our own fleshly response to circumstances. I was praying about this whole thing just before Christmas and I was reminded of a conversation a friend of mine had with our pastor a number of years ago. This conversation struck me back then and our pastors words came back to mind. He said that sometimes discontentment is the Lord's way of saying that it is time for a change. He said that sometimes the Lord allows stuff to be stirred in you as a way of spurring that change.

The more I prayed about it, the more I became convinced that this was the case with me: change was imminent. Now, just because change is on its way, does not mean that it is coming NOW. That has been the battle I have had the last few weeks: knowing change is coming, but not knowing when. My sense was possibly things could change over the summer.

Well, it appears that the changes might be coming sooner than I expected and look different than I expected.

Our church has had a very close relationship with YWAM for a number of years, and two of the four trips I have taken abroad the last few years have been to work directly with YWAM. They are almost always keen to have folks from our church come out to their bases and help in a variety of ways....praying for people, teaching, leading DTS (discipleship training schools), and other things. They have written to us asking if we could send some teams out to Europe for 3-6 months this spring. This would entail traveling to places like Hungary, Norway, Sweden, Holland, Switzerland, Germany, Spain, France, and England. We are in the process of gathering teams together to help YWAM out this Spring.

Meanwhile, here at the office we have been talking for a few months about me switching my administrative duties from the church over to our international ministry. This is the change that I thought would be coming for me. I thought that I would still be here in Tacoma and working on our international stuff from here and be able to take some trips now and again to various places.

However, it now appears that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to go to this European tour for at least a few months of the time.

This is going to require some major praying on my part. I am in need of huge financial provision for this to happen. And, maybe even more necessary, is someone to rent my house while I am gone. Not only would they have to rent it, they would have to rent it with a lot of my stuff still in it and with the idea that I would be coming home to live in it when the European trip is done. A tall order, but not too tall for the Lord.

Would you join me in praying for the Lord to provide, if this is His will? I believe that I am supposed to go for at least a chunk of this trip, and for that to happen, I need things to fall into place within the next month.
Blessings to you!
Erin

Leadership

In light of the upcoming primaries, I have been thinking a LOT lately about what it means to be a leader and what to expect out of those in leadership positions....

This is a topic that is so extensive and has so many facets and nuances that I cannot cover the extent of what this topic could be about. Nor is a blog really a forum for the fullness of what I could write here, but I thougt I would give a brief synopsis of what I have been learning lately.

There is one aspect of I have been realizing: how high my expectations are for those who are in leadership positions....whether it be in job, family, church or country. I have such a high standard and I have been wondering have I been not only expecting the wrong things from them, have I been looking for the wrong things all together? I have realized how much expect them to be perfect, more perfect than anyone could be.

The Lord has been speaking to me about how when I look at outward behavior in people I will ALWAYS be disappointed and how much I can get caught up in the details rather than the bigger picture. I won't be able to see the forest for the trees. If I am looking at things that people do right or wrong, I will ALWAYS be able to find something. I mean, I look at the Bible itself...it is littered with leaders who messed up, and messed up pretty royally too. David himself, the "leader of leaders" in the Bible slept with a married woman, got her pregnant, killed her husband to marry her, lied and covered it up!! That is a pretty hefty laundry list of sins! Yet, at the end of the day, what did the Lord say about David? He was a man after God's own heart.

And so, really, I am realizing more and more how MUCH more important the hearts of those leading me is!! Really, the Lord is ALWAYS more concerned with hearts than behaviors...you know? And so, what I am looking for in those who are leaders....what are their hearts, where are their hearts? I am crying out daily for the Lord to show me the hearts of leaders in my life: family, church, job and our country.....LORD show me their hearts!!!

I can guarantee you that those who lead will mess up...they are human and just like all of us have flesh that is wicked and deceitful above all else, they are not exempt from that! But above all, I want to know their hearts....that is what I am concerned with more than anything else. Once I believe what the Lord is showing me about their hearts, then I can proceed.

Obviously some people's hearts are harder to discern....I don't personally know President Bush for example. And so, this is taking a lot of faith on my part....to trust the Lord that He will show me what I need to know!!
Be blessed,
Erin