$0.90

I have now decided that I am officially poor. I have exactly $0.90 in my account and do not get paid again until the 22nd. I have somewhere between 1/4 and 1/8 of a tank of gas, no bread, just ate my last bowl of oatmeal and sniffed the leftover pasta salad in my fridge before packing it in my lunch today, praying against all food poisoning.

I am not alone in my poverty. There are, in fact, lots of folks around the world who have it way worse than I do. I *will* get paid, albeit not much, on the 22nd and have some money for food and gas after some bills are paid. There are others who won't. Yes, I have had to severely cut back on all the "fun" stuff in life, and even the basics (like food) are being stretched but at the end of the day, I have a roof over my head, a heated house, a car to drive, I have an amazing family, a job that is fun (even if low-paying), and a God who is good....and I could go on and on.

For all of those things, I need to remember how good I really do have it. Let's just hope I don't run out of gas!

Blessings,
Erin

Dear God, Save Me from Your Followers

There is a bumper sticker on cars that I see around town sometimes. It says, "Dear God, Save Me From Your Followers." I have also seen one that says "I love Jesus. It's His Followers I Can't Stand."

Both of these bumper stickers point to something that is becoming more and more common. People are becoming increasingly disenchanted with the church; probably more accurately, the people IN church. Sometimes I read these bumper stickers and I honestly really can't blame people for the sentiments expressed in them. Those of us who claim to follow Jesus quite often the worst examples of His followers around.

I had a long conversation with a non-believer the other day and this was his main problem with the church. He pointed out the hypocrisy which has become rampant in the church: people saying one thing or claiming that they are better than others and than turning around and behaving in a very un-Jesus-like way.

What he sees are men and women claiming to everyone who will listen that they know the right way to behave or believe on an issue and then turning around and doing something that completely negates their witness. We are increasingly seen as judging those outside the church unto correction and as prideful in our salvation. Many of us seem to have no problem telling those who are not saved all of the things they are doing wrong. Unfortunately, this is often the only image that non-believers see.

I am certainly not saying that Christians should be perfect. In fact, the Bible *clearly* states that we are ALL a work in progress, and that following Christ is like running a race that does not end until we have died. We are all at different spots in that journey. Some of us are like spiritual "babies," still drinking milk and crawling instead of eating solid food. Others are older in the faith and have moved on to the "solids" of the faith.

Some churches have responded by declining to judge at all. This is also not right. We ARE clearly to judge those who are within the church. We are to be "iron sharpening iron." We are to discern right from wrong, wheat from chaff, and light from darkness for our own lives and those we are in authority within the church over. Jesus clearly told those who would follow him to "go and sin no more."

What I find lacking is the discipleship and mentoring of those who are spiritually immature in the faith by those who are further along in the journey. I see a severe lack of men and women who have been walking, talking and eating "meat," parenting those who are crawling and babbling like fools.

No mature adult would ever see a baby in need and not be moved to meet the needs of that baby. Yet, increasingly in the church we are doing that with our spiritual babies! How can this go on any longer and produce any kind of fruit? Children who are left without discipline, guidance, correction, and direction become wildly aimless adults who are unable to function. So it is within the church. The next generation of believers cannot be expected to "grow up" on their own and become a productive follower of Christ. There are whole generations of believers who are still drinking spiritual milk.

I sometimes wonder, is any of the stuff that comes out of our mouths how God really feels about things? Are we called to judge those outside the church? What should we do with those of us who are in the church and clearly in error? Even if we do know how God feels/thinks about an issue, are we authorized to speak on His behalf on that issue at that moment? We should have the fear of God in us when we say we are speaking in His behalf. We are not called to be silent, by any stretch, but we should be praying about what we're saying before we say it; making sure that when we speak, we speak the truth in love and to those we are supposed to!

So I wonder, where are the mature and wise Believers amongst us raising a generation of Believers who learn to walk the walk before they talk? Are we so caught up in "me, me, me" secular humanism that we don't want to be corrected or to offend anyone with our correction any longer? The church seems to have lost its ability to point out that which is not truth in each other. We have become this comedy of errors: half of us as judge and jury over everything (as though we some how BECAME God Himself at salvation) and the other half of us believing that love means accepting everything, even within the church.

Anyone who has been on the Christian journey for a length of time knows that we are NOT any better than anyone else and the second we start claiming we are, we have forgotten what it means to be saved. Those who are saved should be rescuing those who are not, not throwing rocks at them. It is not until we are on dry land that we begin our journey to become more like Christ. Rescuing is not enough, we also have to dust people off and walk along side of them on their journey.

1 Corinthians 5:9-13
I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."

James 1:26
If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless.

James 3:2-12
For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses' mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well.

Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.

For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.

Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.

Blessings,
Erin

For additional thoughts on this topic see my friend Suzanna's latest blog: www.ojandsuz.com

Change the World

No one ever changed the world by caring more about what others' think than what the Lord thinks.

Clean Up On Aisle Four

If you should ever see me in line at the grocery store....run screaming in the opposite direction. It is Murphy's Law that I *always* find the. slowest. line. ever. to check out in. What is funny about this is that even when I change my tactics for picking a line, I still chose wrong.

Tonight's latest example of this was that I found the shortest line, AND the woman directly in front of me only had maybe half a cart full of items. Score, right? Wrong. I neglected to look to see what the person in front of *her* had in their cart. This was a big mistake in my method.

The first woman's cart was literally overflowing with food. In fact, now that I think about it, the store was pretty packed for a Tuesday night. I wonder if it's because it is the first of the month and everyone got paid. I digress. This woman's cart was so full that by the time she pulled away her bags were piled on top of each other precariously enough that I wondered if half of her groceries might fall out of the cart. This would have been nothing, except this woman also had a million coupons. Again, no big deal except that some of her coupons did not ring through, requiring the checker to look through her already bagged stuff in vain. Eventually he printed copy of her receipt so far to look over. Finally, all of her stuff was bagged in reusable bags. I actually love, love, love reusable bags and use mine as often as possible. However, they do take longer to bag than the traditional plastic bags do.

All of this to say that I watched people in lines around me, who had gotten in line *after* me, go through their lanes and walk out of the store before I even started getting checked out. My luck with lines would have meant that had I left my lane to go to another, THAT lane would have then been the slowest.

Since I had a lot of time to stand there and think, I thought "why don't grocery stores have slow lanes? I mean they have "express" lanes. Why not "slow" lanes too? These would be for people with a lot of groceries, a lot of coupons, etc." Not sure any grocery store will take me up on that idea, but it could work.

Clean up on aisle four!
Erin

A Folow-Up to An Earlier Post

At the risk of being told I "only post others' opinions," I found both of these articles interesting. If I post others' articles it is because I (for the most part) like what they have to say and feel that it is unnecessary to reinvent the wheel by restating what is well-put, even the parts I might not fully agree with. I don't always agree 100% with the authors of my posts, but if I feel there is enough of an agreement to overlook the parts I don't agree with, I will generally post the whole thing.

I thought these were both good. Read at your own risk.

http://www.onetruthministries.com/potter_vs_lord_rings.htm
http://www.decentfilms.com/sections/articles/magic.html
Erin

Life According to Hummingbirds

Some of you may or may not know this, but I am a huge bird-watcher. I blame it on my dad. Growing up he was always pointing out one bird or another. Like any good teen, I paid no attention. It seems, though, that some of his influence has rubbed off on my in spite of my best intentions. I too find myself pointing out random birds to friends. I have even been known to go out with binoculars in hand SPECIFICALLY to look for birds. And, the piece de resistance is that I also supply my very own bird feeders once I bought my house.

This year for the first time I decided to put up hummingbird feeders. I had never done this before, but when I saw one hovering like a helicopter over some flowers in my yard I decided to go for it. I have had this feeder up for more than a year with limited activity, but for some reason within the last few weeks, the activity at the one I have has significantly picked up.

What I find really funny about this particular feeder is that there are no less than four hummingbirds all vying for this feeder. I had no idea hummingbirds were this territorial. Seriously. One of them perches on a branch in a tree in my neighbor's yard lying in wait lest another nefarious hummingbird decide to partake of HIS feeder.

The war over this feeder has me a bit fascinated. So, tonight, I decided to watch the drama unfold. I grabbed a lawn chair and parked myself close enough to the feeder to see everything, but far enough away so that I would not be in the way. This was actually closer than you might think. (As a side note, I don't think hummingbirds have that great of eyesight as they either didn't notice me at all, or were to preoccupied to care.)

At any rate, the one particular hummingbird who has decided that this feeder is HIS was perched up in the tree, and I could literally see two other hummingbirds in other trees waiting for his back to be turned to make their move. The dive-bombing and squabbling (yes, hummingbirds squabble) and flying at each other and around the yard commenced. One of the other males was a little more bold than the other and worked really hard to get the other away and for a good half an hour I watched these three males argue over the feeder.

At one point, the "alpha" male after chasing off the other two males perched right next to the feeder singing in the glee of victory. This lasted about ten seconds before another male came back again to try to get a taste in.

It was interesting to watch the tactics of one of the males. He would fly around a tree, and dip down so that the hummingbird in the tree could not see him until he was already at the feeder. Sometimes this tactic would work and the alpha would not notice for a bit, allowing him to get in a few sips.

You may remember at the beginning of this post I mentioned that there were four hummingbirds, yet I have only talked about three. That's because the fourth hummingbird is a female who has a very different tactic for getting some nectar.

She sits up in a branch of a tree and waits for the other three males to be so preoccupied chasing each other around and THEN she makes her move. While the other three are off fighting and flying all over tarnation in an effort to prevent the others from drinking from the feeder, she then moves in and drinks her fill.

I think there's a bigger lesson here....not quite sure what it is yet. :0)
Erin

Transitions

(I realized the other day that a LOT of my blog posts are about things I am struggling with. I realized that I am not very good at posting victories or just general every-day things. A casual reader of my blog, without knowing me in "real life" might get the idea that I am a bit of a whiner. I don't think that that's fully true [though we all have moments of whining], I do know how much easier it is to complain about things that are hard vs. being grateful for things that go well or for victories. So, with this in mind, I am going to post some good revelations I have had regarding friendship stuff in the last month or so, since that has been a little bit of a theme in the last few weeks.)

I have a good friend who went through natural childbirth without any painkillers or drugs. She talks about "transition" labor and how painful it was. This is the final stage of labor leading up to actually pushing. She says that most women who start out wanting to go through natural childbirth but who end up having an epidural change their minds during transition labor. She says that transition labor is the most painful part of childbirth.

I feel like this is a pretty good description of how seasons of life that are transitional feel. I am in a bit of a transition season with friendships for many reasons:

1. I am in a unique place in life that not a lot of people are in: an older, single woman. So, most women my age are married. A lot of women that were my single friends have gotten married, some even have children. This changes friendships, even if that change is just something as simple as not having as much time available.

2. Several of my closest friends have moved away. I have very close friends in Washington DC, LA, San Francisco/Berkley, Honolulu, and South Africa to name a few. While I am still regularly in touch with these women, they are not physically available to spend time with.

3. The church I attend has a big youth focus. I love this about us, but it offers a different kind of fellowship opportunity when the women are significantly younger than me. There are both good and bad things about this.

In addition to all of this, I have my own areas of growth that contribute to this season of friendship I am in. One area in particular is not initiating enough. I also especially feel that I have an idea in my head about who and what friendship looks like. So, I need to break out of the box, so to speak. I am starting to initiate with women who are not necessarily at the same stage or place in life as I am.

While transition seasons are painful as things shift and change, I just have to keep in mind that from transition labor comes a birth of something new. And that gives me hope.

Blessings,
Erin

I Can't Get Enough of Paul Washer

Seriously. He's amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjJDGj3obJ8&feature=channel

Split Personality?

There lives within me two people. Many times they are at war with each other.

On the one hand there is the person who is screaming at this normal, mundane life and longing for a change. This person longs to make a difference in this world. This person longs to have the life-changing, supernatural impact on people's lives like Amy Carmichael, Aimee Semple McPherson, or Elisabeth Elliott. I do not seek the fame that they had, but I admire the single-minded focus that these women had to give their lives away in a radical way. I am sure there are other men and women like this whom we have never heard of, but who are earning crowns in heaven and will be celebrated there perhaps more than any of the people I just mentioned.

I have this radical, sold-out, restorer, deliverer, teacher, healer, crazy for Jesus woman living in me clawing and rattling inside of me desperate to get out. She is dying for a change. She is dying to just huck it all and move away to some far off place and just go for it.

Yet, I am not doing any of that. The reason I am not is because also living inside of me is this woman who is afraid. She is afraid of the cost. She is afraid of what it would mean to be this other person. She is the one who wants to have the house with 2.6 kids, a dog and a white picket fence. She is the one who is afraid of the friends and things she would (and has already) lose to be that sold-out. Right now, she is the one winning.

Yet, I cannot seem to put a lid on this other woman. No matter how hard I try to squash her, she is like a volcano bubbling away inside of me. I suspect the dormancy can only last for so long before it must bust forth and consume everything in its path.

Blessings,
Erin

Less of Me...

We do not need to look more like the world, but LESS like the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27DIST8qO4I&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Ftentsofissachar.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F07%2F11%2Fa-call-to-anguish-by-david-wilkerson%2F&feature=player_embedded#t=425